Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
