2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
