Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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