i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize