And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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