And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize