thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
