So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize