Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
