YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
