guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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