He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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