Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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