I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
