I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
