sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize