Soap is not a condiment
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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