My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
