I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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