Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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