i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
