I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you would pick up someone in the library
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
