Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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