The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
