i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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