No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
