Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
