we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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