i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize