Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
