last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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