The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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