Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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