He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
