The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
