You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
