So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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