just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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