I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
