Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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