u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
