The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
