so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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