You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
