tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
