Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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