Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
