That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize