my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
