You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
