So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize