but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
