his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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