Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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