its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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