It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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