you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
