Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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