Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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