I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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