I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
