If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
