This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
