using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
