It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I pour the whiskey from now on
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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