I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize