Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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