why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
