he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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